Ways To Prove Your Love For Your Autistic Child

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One of the signals that your child has autism is his slow emotional development. In case average toddlers always ask for their mommy or daddy, your offspring may not even care whether you are present or not. The kid may be aloof around people as well – including you – if he is “in the zone.” For sure, things get much worse if your child has severe autism since even a little skin-to-skin may put him on defense or attack mode.

What such instances tell you is that your way of showing affection to your non-disabled kids will most likely not work on the autistic one. You are fortunate if he merely ignores your cuddles or kisses. Some parents have to deal with a violent child who may pose a threat to others and themselves.

Thus, you should learn various approaches on how to prove your love for your autistic kid.

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Say No To Rushing

When your boy is already five and is still acting quite cold around you, it will not be shameful to admit that you feel exasperated due to it. You ideally live under the same roof, you try to play with him all the time, but the child typically does not respond when you call him or say ‘I love you.’

However, you do know that it is not because you are a lousy parent or because he hates your guts, right? Autism can make its victim emotionally unattached, and neither you nor your kid can reverse it anytime you want. So you may display your affection by keeping your cool and never rushing your baby to become as sweet as his peers who have no disability.

 

Identify The Trigger Factors

The disorder has an entire spectrum dedicated to it since the symptoms and triggers that patients experience rarely fall into a single category. That should be your driving force to look closely at your autistic kid and see what actions push him on edge.

As mentioned earlier, a youngster with a mild case of autism may turn away if you tap his arm or caress his cheek. The reaction may become harsher, assuming he has a more grave condition. Nevertheless, your chances of not dealing with meltdowns will increase once you understand all the factors that might trigger the kiddo’s autism.

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Inform Everyone Your Child Will Meet About His Issues

Kids with special needs thrive with structure. At home, you may already have a good system working, primarily when it comes to showing affection. That may consist of nods, smiles, pats, and perhaps a quick embrace if your autistic child allows it. The more you exercise that kind of routine with him, the easier it may be to improve your bond as a family. 

One thing that might destroy the peace, however, is when friends or relatives come up to the kid with autism and dare to hug or kiss him, unaware of what the little boy may do because of that. You cannot blame those people, considering they happen to switch on your kid’s aggressive side. As the parents, you must protect the child 100%, even if it means that you need to relate his condition to anyone he will meet in the future.

 

The main point here is that autism is not the type of disorder that you can fight with sheer stubbornness. In case you are unable to hug your child without asking for his permission or triggering his hostile behavior, then you have to use your smarts and work around it. That is the only way to prove your love for your little warrior successfully, to be honest.

 

How Parenting A Child With Autism Works

How difficult must it be to raise an autistic kid?

That is a famous question thrown by curious folks to parents whose child has autism spectrum disorder.

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The reality is that it is not essential to have advanced parenting skills to nurture someone with special needs. It is admittedly not a cakewalk, but the task is no rocket science either. You most likely have to do the following to ensure that you can guide your disabled kid well:

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  1. Seek Treatment Immediately

The first thing to comprehend is that doctors require months or years before confirming that your child has a specific form of autism. They will want to assess his behavior further and perhaps even consult with their colleagues if the boy does not show crystal-clear symptoms.

Such examinations, to be honest, are okay. It remains vital to put a name to your kid’s condition so that you may learn about it further. However, it is still your job to look for a treatment that will help him function better.

  1. Try Different Ways To Communicate

Autism is one of the reasons why some children start speaking past the age of three. No matter what technique you try to make him talk, he stays silent. In case the kid does respond, no intelligible word might come out of his mouth.

Considering it is your current situation, you have to search for various ways to connect with the autistic child. Employ hand or head signals, for instance. If he can point at stuff or nod or shake his head, respectively, you may never need to guess what he wants to say.

  1. Create An Easy Routine

Whether your youngster has high- or low-functioning autism, he may only understand your rules once you introduce a structure to him. Through that, you are free to teach your kid the easy chores, such as putting his plate on the sink after eating or storing the toys back in the shelves or baskets where they belong.

The key here is consistency. A parent like yourself cannot grow tired of getting his or her child into a routine. Otherwise, the latter will stay dependent on you even for the simplest activities.

  1. Avoid Overthinking

Last but not the least, remember that depression or anxiety may wound its way into your system at one point or another. The condition is not short of pushing you to overthink about matters that involve your autistic son, especially if he is at school age. You might even consider relocating to a faraway location to hide the child from the harsh world. 

Is that a wise move, however? No. You need to focus on the reality that you cannot be there for your kid forever. Despite the disability, he has to learn to stand up for himself if need be and experience some normalcy in life. If you allow the negative thoughts to cloud your judgment, then your little boy will miss his shot at both.

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To Sum It Up

There is no specific set of instructions available when it comes to parenting an autistic child. Every kid and parent out there is different. Hence, in the end, only you will be able to tell what technique works for your little one and what doesn’t.

 

Why The Autism News May Put Your Marriage At Risk

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If you and your spouse are healthy and have no long-term illnesses to speak of, the news that your beloved son or daughter has autism may be difficult to accept. The queries of the parents, therefore, can go anywhere from “Was there something we did not do right during the pregnancy?” to “Why did this fate befall our family?” 

None of these questions have answers that are effortless to get, honestly speaking. Whereas the former kind remains somewhat mysterious even for the smartest doctor out there, the latter is hard to deduce for mere mortals like us.

What’s more frightening than the lack of exact information about the condition, however, is the fact that the marriage between parents is more likely to end in divorce when you have an autistic kid. What gives, you may ask?

 

Parenting Demands Are Consistently High For Children With Special Needs

When your offspring does not have any disability, you only have to be hands-on until they hit late childhood. Around eight or nine years old, they can already clean up after themselves, do most of the homework on their own, and pick up what’s right or wrong. By the time the kid becomes a teenager, you may not even need to cook for them as they already know how to do that.

On the contrary, in case your son or daughter has an autistic disorder – especially a low-functioning one – your job as a parent does not have an expiration date. In reality, the tasks may even be more challenging as they are growing up because there’ll be a time when your child can get as tall as you are and lifting him or her off the ground during stressful episodes is hardly an option. If one of the parents cannot or will not deal with the demands of parenting a kid with autism, then that puts the marriage in peril.

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Acceptance Does Not Occur At Once

The ideal train of events involves the parents hearing from the specialist that their child has autism, and then working together to improve their son or daughter’s life. It may not happen, though, if the mom or dad cannot take the diagnosis as true

In that case, the individual might try to treat the disabled youngster no differently from a non-disabled one and expect many things from them. Considering the autistic kid performs poorly at school, for that reason, the unbelieving parent will possibly discipline him or her like an average child. This behavior, of course, may be infuriating for the understanding parent, to the extent that he or she might file for divorce sooner than later. 

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Staying in matrimony is not tricky even amidst taking care of your autistic kid, especially if your devotion and love for the spouse remain strong, and vice versa. In case your bonding moments only end in bickering and calling each other hurtful names, however, and no amount of counseling can fix your issues, then terminating your marriage may be the most excellent decision for the entire family.

How To Strengthen Family Relationship When A Child Has Autism

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Guessing and knowing for sure that a child has an autistic disorder can affect the relationship between a family differently. 

When you only have an inkling about it, it is effortless to forget the possibility and treat the kid likea healthy son or daughter. You can delegate little chores to them, similarly teach them as the other kiddos, and become a disciplinarian if they exceed the boundaries.

However, once a psychiatrist brandishes an official report confirming that your child indeed has autism, then the household dynamics may change. Most of the errands suddenly get transferred to the siblings; the autistic one has special needs that the parents should take care of as well. If the kids without autism cannot understand what’s up or your marriage suffers due to the child’s disorder, the once strong family relationship is in jeopardy. 

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Nonetheless, feel free to try improving your bond through the tips below.

  1. Spend Time With Every Kid

The non-disabled children tend to feel unimportant when their parents have their hands full with the autistic offspring. Although the former is probably aware of why that is the case, it must still be difficult for a youngster to gain the adults’ attention all for themselves rarely. Thus, the average kids might act jealous around gatherings or start rebelling.

To prevent that, moms and dads should allocate at least an hour within the day to focus on every child. Take personal responsibility in helping them with their homework, instead of just letting the older kids teach their younger brothers and sisters. During weekends or school breaks, you may also go out with one kiddo at a time and do their activity of choice together.

  1. Don’t Miss Out On Traditions

The sweet relationship of a family may turn bland or bitter as well if you skip the things you used to do as a unit before the autism diagnosis. For sure, you merely want to ensure that your child with disability stays calm and safe in an environment that’s familiar to them. However, whatever will happen to the idea of growing as a family and learning through the first-hand experience if you will miss out on traditions?

Understanding the trigger factors of your autistic child may solve this issue. You can set new bonding activities or locations afterward that won’t make the condition flare up and allow the other kids to have fun. While it may require some trial-and-error in the beginning, it will not be long before you figure out what traditions you should let go of or keep for the sake of everyone. 

  1. Heal Together

When the autism news takes a toll on the mental health of the family members, especially the parents, the situation is already too dangerous to take for granted. Mind you, having a depressed mother or father is much graver than having an autistic child as a sibling. It is as if the rock you leaned on for years is crumbling right before your eyes, and you do not know how to stop it.

The thing is, considering talking within the family has a minor impact on their mentality, you may seek group counseling to heal together. This way, you will get to gain more knowledge about the emotions that your spouse – or children – may be concealing and find out how to cope with similar problems in the future.

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Your relationship as a family should never suffer just because one of the kids has an autistic disorder. In truth, the news ought to make you stick together so that life will not be miserable for all.